Suburban Survival

At about this time, many young survivalists are getting to leave school and wreak havoc upon the rest of urbania.

Brace yourselves.  Summer is coming.

It’s only for two or three months.

You’ll only have to spend all your time defending your home base from ravaging teenagers.

It’s not as if aliens are invading.

Really…

It’s not…

Happy Trails,

Donna

Prom was last night, and that was fun.

And really this should be on a personal blog, but I’m just making excuses as to why I didn’t post last week.

Anyway.  Here’s the excuse(s):

I had to look for a suit and bowtie. (Lie. I already had both)

I asked someone to the prom, so I had to boost my confidence levels, and set up a way to ask her. (Lie.  Even though I did ask someone to the prom, I’d say that I’m pretty confident.)

We had to match.  It’s pretty hard trying to find matching suits and dresses.  (Lie.  It really isn’t that hard.)

I kept forgetting to take the picture that I wanted to go with the post. (Actually, I didn’t lie on this one.  THe post is supposed to go with a picture, and I kept forgetting to take it.)

Prom. (Also truth.)

Five excuses, five days, along with a post.  I did good, didn’t I?

Happy trails,

Ben

Specifically:  Life skills class.

If you are a young(er) survivalist, you’ll be going to high school in Urbania. No matter where you go, there will be a class: Life Skills.

Life skills isn’t always the same.  It’s also not always called life skills, but there is a constant where I come from. The constant is that you will be taking home a fish.  This fish is your child for the next few weeks.  You must treat it like a baby.  A baby that breathes water, eats food pellets, and is actually a fish.

Fashion is what happens when you mix insane scientists and cloth, bring it to broadway, and fill it with preservatives, so it doesn’t age.  Then, maybe stick it in a blender for a few seconds, to mix it up nicely.

There’s a bit of emphasis on the amount of preservatives you add.  It has to be a lot.  A lot, so that awesome tattoo you get won’t be “in” by the next week.  Gotta keep it perfect, you know.

Then, you heat it for a few billion years.  After that, you can either blend it, or put it on a stick, and voila! 21st century fashion!

Easy as pie.

Happy trails,

Donna

It’s a bit weird, fashion in Urbania.  Especially in the more populated areas.  People wear shoes that make them about a foot taller.  They wear hats that can weigh up to 20 pounds.  Even worse, the hats are always askew to their heads.  It’s as if they can’t tell the orientation of their face.  Yesterday, I was nearly hit in the face by a man wearing a log on his head.  I think he may have been trying to mug me.  

And the pants.  THE PANTS.  Everyone wears pants made for a buffalo.  They think their minds and “wisdom” can take up the rest of the space.  Obviously, it doesn’t.

Well, not everyone wears buffalo-pants.  Some people wear paint-pants.  Those are the pants that look like they are painted on, hence what I call them.  Paint-pants.

Both types of pants look stupid.  Some people can wear the paint-pants, and look good, but those people come few and far between.

Happy Trails,

Al

Anonymous asked: whats youre opinion on pick up lines? do they work? i really like this chick and i dont know what to do.

Hannah felt obliged to write this one.

Pick up lines are fantastic. They can be funny and cute, and a good way to break the ice and tell a girl that you are interested. Something to avoid, is anything she would feel objectualized by. Don’t make lewd jokes. Don’t make her feel like a trophy. 

I’m personally a huge sucker for pick up lines, but not all girls go for that sort of thing. Sound it out by pulling out a really cheesy joke, because nothing tests the waters for a pick up line better than something equally cheesy. If she seems to like the cheesy joke, go for it. If not, you may want to hold off. 

~Hannah